Anthology of Poems
by Honey Jane Carvajal, SNASKING HEART
Have I done something wrong?
Why do these tears keep falling on?
Am I really crying with a reason?
Or I am just trying to fit into a lifetime season?
Why does happiness is so hard to have?
Where in fact, that’s the only thing I’m wishing up above
Why can’t I find somebody to love?
Is there really somebody sent from above?
How I wish I’d find him soon
In order to keep moving on
Why can’t it happen even for once?
Even just for a single dance
How I badly dreamed to be a candle
The more you kill me the more I become real
I’m hoping even for this wish; be it granted
For my heart doesn’t know where to go and now it’s dead…
IF
If you’re not here with me
Flowers will wither and soon you’ll see
There’ll be no rainbow in the sky
There’ll be no enchanting lullabies
If I am not with you
I’ll be very weak; yeah it’s true
I can’t manage to eat nor drink
Anything I can’t do even to wink
If someday I’ll be with you
I’ll make it special coz everything I will do
Because that day will be no ordinary day
Though I know it will soon fade away
If soon you’ll be forever gone
And everything’s still left undone
Moon and stars will never shine
All I know you left me hanging in the line…
WHEN I GROW WITH YOU
Days passed, I knew this wouldn’t last
I know someday I’ll get over the past
I have to move on with my life
Even I know it cuts me like a knife
I wont deny that he’s been so special
All throughout these days, he became ideal
The man whom I dreamt since then
The man who is willing to love me till end
But all those shine and spark faded
Maybe both of us became jaded
With things we usually do together
Even though we unconsciously hurt each other
Still, I would never regret those days
Because I truly liked him in his ways
Even people tried to pull him down
I’d still hold his hand and together we’ll frown
Even if things are getting worst right now
I’d still love to remember my vow
That goes…”I will love him till days are through
For I’ll be happier when I grow with you…”
NO REGRETS
I have encountered a high breed guy
Who was once snobbish and always sighs
I have not imagined him to be a part
Of this life which he torn apart
It was never a special day
When he and I met in the way
We utter each other our “hi”
And parted ways with ordinary goodbye
But I never expected that things would fall apart
Where he and I got to be at heart
We caught ourselves laughing with things
And together we spend the day in its brightest wings
We jointly smiled within a day
And mutually frown when we’re dismay
We spent much time together
Even it looked odd with the others
But now, he left me in confusion
Where I hardly caught myself in an illusion
And thru this we ignored each other’s nest
Yet I proudly say “I have no regrets.”
WILL I LAST?
Everyday is so hard to take
People can’t stop being fake
I don’t know if I will last
But why did these appear so fast?
I can’t imagine myself struggling in such manner
I can’t believe I'm bound to suffer
How will I accept this painful fact?
Why is it really hard to act?
I can’t blame them if they really do
Such things that made me feel blue
All I know is, it must be true
Coz how would they judge without a clue
I hope this will be enough
As a payment for such an act
That someday this will pass
For I don’t know if I will last
MISTAKE
Once I felt this thing called love
But unluckily got it in a wrong one
I don’t know how did it happen
It’s just that my heart suddenly gave in
I know this love is impossible
But still I am unflappable
Still waiting, dreaming and hoping
That someday you’ll notice my feeling
‘Til now I can’t really explain
Why did these exist?
Each day and night I kept on wondering
If you’ll be the perfect prince charming
I don’t know why I’m still falling
To you-so insensitive and irritating
I think I've not get over this feeling
Coz till now it’s your love that I’m craving
MOVE!!!
Ting. Ting. Ting…
Our hearts were strongly beating
The sound where even mutes would scream
A famous ring in our biochem
We caught ourselves like in an audition
We line ourselves in the alley of the institution
We got half lengthwise papers
Where we write all our answers
Ting. Ting. Ting…
There it strikes again
It left a scar in the eardrum
Even the pens for writing are getting dumb
I guess, as I leave the institution
This will surely not be an illusion
For this is a worthy, one-of-a-kind thing
Even for others it just goes Ting…Ting…Ting!!
LOVELIFE’S WINGS
There is this thing I am about to hide
Yet it seemed so difficult and I can’t decide
I don’t exactly know what is better
Should I continue or make things over?
Why does it feel so hard to love?
Maybe because he’s not sent from above
But why does my heart tell me that he is?
Yet this could not happen even thru a kiss
I want to convince my heart not to love him
Because it is hurting deep within
My mind is set to move on and look for another
Yet my heart doesn’t stop and it really hits me harder
I can’t believe I am so unlucky
Even I know I’ve got my friends and family
What is it that lacks in me?
Yes it’s he! The one who will love me?
Since I can’t get over this feeling
I wanted to settle this heart to everything
Even I know I’m not willing to forget him
But I’d still do just to stop my wondering…
TUESDAY HABIT
Everyday in my life is so usual
But among these, there is one day special
Of all these days and ways
There s such an extraordinary grace
Tuesday is always of memories
Not simply because of that and this
It is for a reason that this day is unusual
For this can’t happen in universal
Not all people are happy in this day
But for me this will never be a day of dismay
For this day is such a wonderful day
Where I could smile and always be gay
For all those stormy days in my life
I always consider this day a happy life
Even in this day I found myself crazy in a bit
Still, I would never exchange my rare Tuesday habit
VANILLA WAFER AND SWIRLY BITZ
Each and everyone of us has its own
Styles & favorites that we have known
Everybody has it’s own likes and dislikes
But lets admit it we want everything nice
One day as I talked to him
I can’t imagine that he goes to gym
My mind smiled for such reason
That he wanted his body to be like horizon
It was fascinating to see
That he & I shared the same plea
To see God in personal
And make vanilla a flavor in universal
Still, nothing beats the similarities in us
And I feel how great it was
For now I know we share 2 things in common
That’s vanilla wafer and swirly bitz that we can’t refuse on.
IT’S REALLY OVER…
I’ve been happy with him
All those days, I never seem
I expressed my feelings al the way
Yet I still can’t help but be dismay
Every time I look at him
He seems so cute yet so mean
He always wanted to be followed
And always wanted to set the mood
Even I have done everything
Still he acts as if it was nothing
I get hurt and pain always
For God’s sake he has done it in many ways
Now, my heart is very tired
Settling things up and taking his ride
I can’t exactly say if I can recover
But my mind says that it’s really over…☹
I AM A MAN-HATER
I cried so many times
For a love that has been lost
I loved a thousand times
Thinking for no more costs
I met several guys
All were nothing but heartbreaker
I thought they’re just wise
Yet they were all idiot undercover
I swear to step out of this imagination
For it really happened to be an illusion
Men are all the same
They were all insane
I hate guys; I hate men
I think I’ll hate all of them
I never wanted to be like this
But what can I do, they hurt me with their deadly kiss
STILL WAITING
I’ve seen many people
And being with them is so cool
But why is it that I’m not happy?
I think its because you’re my only plea
I really love you, don’t you know?
All my heart and deep within my soul
Can’t you just give me a piece of your time?
So that my heart won’t die and my stars will shine
I need you and I can’t seem
For you’ve never been out of my mind and my heme
In my blood flows my deep feeling for you
Oh! Please dear, believe me coz it’s true
I know you’re too busy with your stuffs
But still these feelings won’t stop
Because the more you run the more I am craving
I just hope one day you’ll notice that I’m still waiting
NEVER ASK
Do we love with reasons?
Or we love differently like seasons?
Does it rain or shine?
Does it smile or twine?
How does a person suppose to love?
Give everything and act purely like a dove?
Do you have to cry out every pain?
Or take it as a challenge and always sustain?
Why to we seek for love?
Is it because it was said up above?
To love your enemies and neighbors
Even they can’t do you any favors
Reason alone could not explain love on it’s own
For reason is just a mere connotation
You really have to feel the pain yet do your task
And always love but never to ask…
THINK TWICE
All this time I thought he’s mine
Things I’ve figured out still intertwined
Ill guess they’ll just be mere events
Moments of my life a hard as cements
I thought they have given up
Yet in the end I found myself in a gap
Between them is a strong link
Connecting their heart and never lets it sink
Someday I know I’ll wake up
In this sleep where I am at
Maybe its time to be mature
Stop these baby talks and never be immature
Things in this world must be analyzed
Even those tiny details should be recognized
You’ll never know that it may give you trouble
That they can break your heart even if they’re to small…☹
MY PRINCE!!!
I saw this ordinary guy
I do like him and I can’t deny
He’s the prince I’ve been wishing from above
A prince I’ve been dreaming to love
He has cute little eyes
He is white and very nice
He is good-looking and so wise
He is not a pretender and says no lies
I knew him just in time
And I want him to be mine
Not as someone to be just a friend
But someone special than a friend
I don’t know how to start
All I know is I wanting him to chat
With me whom he is killing softly
With me who is loving him secretly
I know right time will come
That this boy will still be mine
I really wish he were the one from above
The one sent to give me such love
I’M TRULY LUCKY GOD IS WITH ME
In my life, it is so hard to be happy
I need to adjust and decide so wisely
I don’t know what should be done
Unless I am hurt and stand as I can
I can’t understand why I felt so alone
Where in fact I’ve got family and friends holding on
But still, why can’t I be happy?
Maybe because I still feel so unlucky
I know I should be happy now
But still I look for something and I don’t know how
I forced myself to smile and be joyful always
But I can’t really do and I can’t find right ways
I always hope and wish that God would not leave me
For I f that happens I’ll surely be completely unlucky
I know GOD is watching always over me
Letting me feel I’m loved and lucky
WEAK WITHOUT YOU
All of a sudden things have changed
I can’t believe they were rearranged
The colorful world has turned to gray
For you’re not here to love me and to stay
I don’t know what shall I do
Do I need to fight for you?
Should I let you go?
Please know I am hurt because you’ve left my boo
But what is this voice ringing back in my ears
It says,” stand and fight my dear,
Coz you are mine and that’s the least you can”
But I still can’t do coz I feel so damn
“How would I fight?” my heart uttered
I have no might for you are guarded
Without you near me, I’ll surely be gone
Coz I’m getting crazy for you’ll never be mine
I can’t really go on this way
But I don’t want you to go away
My strength and love will be sent back to you
For I’ll still be weak if I don’t have you
TOO MUCH PAIN
People say its rare to find two hearts beat as one
So I said I could find the perfect one
Someone who truly deserves my gift of love
Somebody sent up from above
But, would you still ask for love?
If the people around you made you feel you’re unloved
I can’t explain why for some it’s easy to judge a person
Where in truth nobody could tell things in its ways and reasons
Sometimes I don’t know if love truly exists
Maybe because they made me feel love is never worth living
That in this world, love was never special
Because everybody made me look like dull
How I wish everybody got the chance to feel his or her feelings
So that nobody would curse another being
Because if we’d feel how everybody feels even in a single day
I really sure; nobody would let pain cross their way
I’M HURT
Sometimes we think he’s the one
Who will wipe our tears and help us become
But who could say that even I cannot
The one I thought to be seems not
How sad it is to feel that he will never be
The boy I wished to make me happy
How hard it is to know that he’ll never be
The boy I thought will be forever in me
Every time I think of him
I can’t help but seem
I could not imagine how it will appear
Yet I really want it to be clear
I hope this love will never last
Fr if so, ill be surely dwelling in the past
In which this feelings will never be replaced
In my heart he will never be erased
PURELY FACTS
Why does pain exist?
Is pain something we couldn’t resist?
Is it something truly penetrating?
Or it is just something really worth crying?
I have loved and been loved
But why am I still unloved?
Fair is enough yet it’s still not
For it has been the hardest shot
When you love, you’ll get lost
When you laugh, you still cry
When you love, you’ll still be unloved
When you crave, you’ll still die
Keep going and hold on
Never be afraid of moving on
Maybe it will be too long
Yet I know it will make you strong
AN EYE TO REALIZE
Things are really unpredictable
They can happen thus leading you to trouble
They can be too small even your eyes can’t see
You’ll never know if you’re a victim to be
Your eyes were given for you to see
Things that must be foresee
Always come up with something true
For you’ll never be given any clue
They will strike you unconsciously
And there’s nothing you can do wisely
Because things had happened
Even you have not comprehend
Always make use of those tiny eyes
For surely it will help you decide wise
Never use it to judge but to analyze
For your eyes were give to help you realize
LIKE A CENT
The wind is swiftly blowing
Birds were constantly chirping
Every little thing is swiftly flowing
But why am I still crying?
I hated vanilla and the rain
Even that swirly bitz and every thing I’ve gained
He has given me too much pain
Where I caught my heart scratching his stain
I never knew that with him, I could be happy
Yet that happiness has faded urgently
I didn’t even recognize that I looked fool
Loving him made me cruel
I really hate him to an extent
But still he’s still a cent
Without a cent a peso would not be complete
Without him, my heart will still not beat
THE TEST OF FRIENDSHIP
I thought it was all over
Yet all things were recovered
We texted each other back
Oh! God it was such luck
When I decided to turn m back on him
Fate still leads as back again
This may not be good as before
But soon it will I am pretty sure
I feel contented with what we are now
Even this isn’t as happy as wedding vows
Through this, we could start back again
As soon as we be ease and forget those pain
I realized that we were challenged
Which hardly tested the friendship we’ve established
God did made a way between us
For he believed that we’ve got one-of-a-kind trust.
YOU’LL STILL BE SPECIAL
I tried my best to forget you
But I always caught myself stuck on you
I can’t help take a glimpse of you
For your smiles give me strength all day through
One day i said I am over you
But in a snap, I still look for you
You’re a strength giving me a power
And I can’t really admit that I have not recovered
I want to get you off my mind
But you’re really stuck and it’s getting hard
For all the pains you’ve caused me
It’s all nothing as long as you’re with me
Tears kept falling on and on
Still my heart keeps holding on
You’ll always be someone who will mean a lot
In my heart which you’ve torn apart
SHE WILL NEVER BE ME
She is the one who makes you happy
Who keeps you running even a thousand mile
She lets the sun shines on you
She will always be your only boo
She was the one who caused you too much pain
Yet you’re giving all to her even there’s nothing you could gain
She is the one who kept you alive
The one you needed to line and survive
She is the one who gave you confusion
Who left you with so much depression?
But why she’s still the one you’ve been wishing for?
The one you’re willing to die for
I know she’ll always be that special one
Who will always be in your heart and mind
I ‘m all crushed and down on knees
For SHE will never be ME.
JUST STAY
In you, I found strength and inspiration
Giving me light through all the season
You always let me feel so strong
Even loving you seems so wrong
I always felt you’ve never loved me
Yet you helped me become what I want to be
You don’t need to love me in return
Just stay and I will never mourn
I accepted the fact that you truly love her
Even she never showed you any care
I am always concerned with you
Even loving you made me so blue
I am not king for something
Just be here and that’s is a special thing
Even you’re just taking all for granted
I wouldn’t care because I am all contented.
THE 1ST WEDDING
It was the 6th day of October
I felt so nervous but I can’ utter
I’ll be marrying a man whom I never known
Though he’s my classmate and a friend over the phone
As I stepped in a church-like room
My heart beat fast as if it’ll boom
I saw my groom standing feeling so relax
He smiled at me as I took my bouquet in a box
All was settled and this must be true
Flowers were scattered all over crating such amazing view
It’s the time to start the wedding ceremony
All is waiting for us to marry
I walked down the aisle with such gay
Even I knew it was just a play
I felt it as if it was all true
For down in my heart he’s the man i used to call my boo.
UNRESONABLE BEING
We found ourselves quarreling again
I think it’s really a part within
We always do these things
We fight and we’re all right which is tiring
I don’t know if there’s something wrong
But we used to be like this so long
There are times that we really understand each other
But most of the time we really hurt each other
Is this the way we really should be?
It’s really annoying, can’t he see?
If we could not stay in this any longer
I guess we really have to hate each other
But, will hating each other give us a peaceful life?
I don’t know but we don’t have t spare the knife
I know I never did hate him
What I knew is, I just can’t understand his doings.
HE LET ME GO
I tried to let him miss me
I know it’s hard yet I pretend to be
I disobeyed all his rules
Even I know I got many to lose
I have doe everything just t please him
But till I appeared like nothing
Someone who isn’t worthy to be missed
Someone who isn’t lovely to be kissed
It really hurt me so much
And all these happened in a rush
I thought he’d cry if he loses me
Yet smiles all over his face and I really could see
I was so wrong to think that I am special
I was so ordinary so usual
You know what really hurts me more?!
It’s the fact that he just let me go.
TAKE YOUR CHOICE
You might think that I am happy
That I never felt so lonely
If that’s what you see in me
Then you’re not seeing my heart deeply
I may smile and laugh with them
That I always posses those sweet grins
But, don’t you know that I always cry?
That even my heart could not lie
Yes, know you did your part
But it is not stated that you should break my heart
I did adjust to your ways and desires
Even though it means blowing off my fire
I really didn’t want to let you go
Coz there’s so many things I wanted you to know
But if you really choose to take the other way
Then I really wouldn’t bother to make you stay.!
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO FIGHT
I know you’re such a strict person
You always equate things with your reasons
You do things according to your will
And nobody could tell how you truly feel
You always make me smile
But why did you made me cry?
You are not just a friend for me
Coz most of the time you are an enemy
You’ve never been fair in fighting
You always leave me hanging
Tears might be rolling down my cheeks
But I assure you, it’s still you I seek
How will I fight with you?
Even hating you still I can’t do
You always make me feel so low
And it will never be easy to let you go.
ONLY TIME CAN TELL
I saw him taking a glimpse of me
I felt so happy yet so lonely
I’m really missing his touch and miles
But I hardly remember I bid goodbye
I couldn’t resist but look at him
And everyday it is so hard to seem
I jut really miss his companion
And I wish that we’d still be friends even in phone
It really gets harder and harder everyday
I felt so sad and I am astray
I really want to talk to him
But I’m afraid maybe I’ll come out nothing
How I really want to be his friend again
And talk about nothing just to see his grin
But I know now that it is impossible
Foe he isn’t that kind and humble
SECOND CHANCE
Don’t you want us to be friends again?
Why were you acting so mean?
Am I appealing that rude to you?
That even talking to me you can’t do?
I didn’t mean coming out so mean
It’s just that I don’t want to seem
I want you to like me as I am
And not because of how I come
It’s easy for me to accept these things
Just hear my side and you’ll see
I do appreciate your efforts and fears
Just want to let you that I’m sincere
I am not being selfish here
I just want to be close to you dear
Just give me another chance
Because it’s hard to make another stolen glance